Why retro is more fun

There was a day when Spy Hunter was king - and not that ramped-up 3D version, either. (By the way, you're not supposed to shoot all the cars.) Photo found on Wikipedia.

So let me see, hold 'R,' aim with the lower stick down here, cross my legs right over left, spin around and press 'A.'

Sound familiar? Does it sound like the steps necessary to just shoot something in one of the million World War II first-person shooter video games put out these days? I mean how many FPS games do we really need? All the ones out now share what, about five different themes?

I'm more of a simpleton myself. Which is why over the past few years I've found a way to go back to a simpler time, a time when games were fun and extraordinary graphics weren't the only focus of game developers.

A few years ago, I chucked out 50 bucks and purchased a GameBoy Player for my Nintendo GameCube (Before you chuckle at my 'Cube ownership, be aware I mainly bought it to play The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker). Anyways, the only reason I bought it at the time was because Nintendo had re-released Super Mario Bros. 3, only the greatest NES game of all time, for GameBoy Advance. So instead of dropping 100 bucks for a GBA or a used NES console (I took mine apart years ago, and strangely it hasn't worked since), I bought the GB Player and cartridge and came out cheaper (The GBA port also contained a copy of the original Mario Bros., too.). Besides, I'd rather play the games on a console hooked up to my TV than a GBA anyway, which today is admittedly hypocritical since I own a Nintendo DS.

Over the years, I've purchased other classic ports for GBA, most notably the original Super Mario Bros., a cartridge with the original versions of Final Fantasy I and II and the SNES gem, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. But it was a recent purchase that really reminded me how much fun games were way back when without all the bells and whistles.

Just the other day, while at an unnamed store whose logo consists of two red circles, I found in the infamous bargain bin a dual-game cartridge that featured original versions of Spy Hunter and Super Sprint.

While Super Sprint to me is not more than a prequel to NES' RC Pro-Am, it was Spy Hunter that was the reason I spent the 10 bucks for it, which was a just fine price to me for this little piece of gaming history. For those of you born pre-1988 who have no idea what the big fuss is all about, click here.

Explaining how to play Spy Hunter is simple: Drive fast, shoot enemy cars, don't get dead. Easy as that. Today, you'd have to add a hundred different options and features to make today's gamer want to play it.

Still, Spy Hunter was fun, and still is to me. The port I found is just like the original, except the music either isn't there (which is a bummer), or I haven't figured out how to turn it on. All the action sounds are there, though, and the game is still fun.

As were, and still are, numerous games from back in the '80s and early '90s. It was fun to kill of enemies in the original Legend of Zelda without having to hold the aim button, raise your shield and catch a fish while hordes of enemies run after you. Or how on Kung Fu you could kick the guy at the front of the group and everyone falls down. Or how you unsuccessfully tried for hours to shoot the damn dog on Duck Hunt!

It'd probably be asking a bit too much to ask today's developer to design a fighting game as simple as Double Dragon or Contra (still the best shoot'em up game ever). But what those games lacked in graphics (which were actually cutting-edge for the time) they made up for with fun.

Today, I have to read 20 pages of a game manual to figure out just how to equip a gun. Remember how simple it was in Zelda, when all you had to do was pause the game and pick what special weapon you wanted to use?

I wish it were easier, and cheaper for that matter, to acquire some of the old stuff from back when. Of course, I also wish after 20 years of trying I could get Little Mac to knock Mike Tyson out, too!